At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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