Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
As shirtless as possible
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
