i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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