my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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