Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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