Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
