I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
