This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Damn victory sex feels great
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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