Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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