is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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