I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Congratulations! We have a period
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