thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
