Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
