ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
