How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
