She said her name was "party"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
