I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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