I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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