It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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