We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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