this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
