google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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