seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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