Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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