Actions speak louder than pants.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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