Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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