so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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