I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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