i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
