Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
