I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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