the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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