he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
