i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
