This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
