Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We have started to decorate penises.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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