So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
