you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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