I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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