their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I love you. Go after that dick
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
