Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
