If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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