i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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