Someone shit on the floor
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
