The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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