The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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