All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
