there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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