oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
