when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
