so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
