tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
