Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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